Breaking the Broken.

So I found this incredible article by a woman named Paulette Arteaga about the Christian with low self-esteem. I think my biggest struggle is self worth, and not believing Satan's lies that I'm worthless. Sometimes I have days, or even weeks where it seems like every interaction I have with people lead to a negative conclusion on my part. That I either annoy them, or talk to much, or aren't cool enough to be their friend. Its always something. Also, often I find that when I'm struggling most with self-esteem, Satan will attack me through people. I've had days where people rip into me for something I didn't do right, or something I'm not doing enough of, and it makes me feel like more of a failure.

But I know down deep that these are all lies, and that Satan is threatened by the work God wants to do with my weaknesses.

Anyway, when I found this article, it really spoke to me and also put into words what I could not, so I wanted to share it.

" "Be sober, (be well balanced) be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion (in fierce hunger), walketh about, seeking whom he may devour." - Ist Peter 5:8

Some of the most powerful weapons in Satan's arsenal are psychological. Fear is one of these. Doubt is another. Anger, hostility, worry, and of course, guilt. Long-standing guilt is hard to shake off; it seems to hang on even after a Christian claims forgiveness and accepts pardoning grace. An uneasy sense of self-condemnation hangs over many Christians like the Los Angeles smog. They find themselves defeated by the most powerful psychological weapon that Satan uses against Christians. We call it low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is a gut-level feeling of inferiority, inadequacy, and low self-worth. This feeling shackles Christians in spite of wonderful experiences, in spite of their faith and knowledge of God's word.

I believe God grieves over this. He weeps over the paralysis of our potential through low self-esteem. Jesus told a parable about the talents. The man with the one talent was immobilized by fear and feelings of inadequacy. Because he was so afraid of failure, he didn't invest his talent, but buried it in the ground and tried to play it safe. His life was a frozen asset -frozen by fear of rejection by the master, fear of failure, fear of comparison to the other two who were making their investments, fear of taking a risk. He did what a lot of Christians do with low self-esteem - nothing. And that is what Satan wants for us as Christians - that we will be so tied up that we are tied down, frozen, paralyzed, settling into life far below our potential.

We wrap our fears in morbidly sanctified self-belittling. Self - crucifixion. What happened to our dreams? Where is the vision God put before us? What wrecked it? Our sins and transgressions and bad habits? I doubt it. Probably our dream has been delayed or destroyed because Satan tricked us into thinking of ourselves as grasshoppers or worms. And as a result we never realize our full potential as a son or a daughter of God. We are filled up with fears and doubts, inferiority, and inadequacy. Think about our relationship with God. It follows quite naturally that if you consider yourself inferior or worthless, you will think that God really must not love and care for us. Such thinking often leads to those inner questions and resentments, which begin to foul up our relationship with God. After all, isn't it somewhat His fault that we are this way? He made us as we are. He could have and probably should have done it differently. But He didn't. And then we become critical of our design, and it isn't long before we blame the designer. This is how our concept of God becomes contaminated and our perception of how He feels about us gets all mixed up, finally ruining our relationship with Him.

And last but not least low-self esteem sabotages our Christian service. What is the biggest obstacle that prevents members of the body of Christ, (metaphor of the community of Christians) from functioning as parts of the body? What is the first thing people say when you ask them to do something in the body of Christ? "Teach a Sunday school class? I can't stand up in front of people." "Share at the next ladies's meeting, or men's conference? Oh, I couldn't do that!" "Go knocking on doors? That would scare me to death."

Pastors are nearly drowned in the torrent of downgrading that pours over us in excuses for not doing God's work. "Pastor, I'm tongue-tied. Public speaking is not my gift, but I can do something else." You know everybody can do something and function as a give of his gift in the body of Christ.

Did you ever notice that God doesn't choose superstars to do His work? For example Moses - who lost no time in telling the Lord about his stuttering, to Mama's boy Mark - who, ran out on Paul and Barnabas. Paul was right when he said that not many wise and noble, neither many supermen nor many wonderwomen, are on this team (go to Corinthians 1:26-31).

The trouble with our low-self esteem is that it robs God of marvelous opportunities to show off His power and ability through our weaknesses. Paul said, "Therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities." Why? Because they gave God such a wonderful chance to show off His perfection (2nd Corinthians 12:9-10). Nothing sabotages Christian service more than thinking so little of yourself that you never really give God a chance.

We must never forget who we are, what we are and how much God loves us. We must give God a chance to shine his perfection through us."

Source: http://www.inspiredchristian.org/cyber/012901pa.html